Crazy or Normal?

20 Oct

Who gets to decide if I am crazy? Me? The shrink? My best friend? When is time for us to stop and figure out if we are a threat to ourselves and or the people around? or to stop figuring out if or not we are fit for society and get on with our lives? Some people are just born crazy! So, to them I say ‘a teeny bit of crazy with the sugar and spice makes all the difference’! And to the normal people who have their normal lives; stop picking on those who can’t be like you. They might need your love but never your pity or disdain. Love the mad-man living within you because without him we will all be software with a code!

Bhavna ki nani

22 Oct

As I sit for hours together reading a novel ajji said I must read no matter what and ignore the incessant ringing of the phone. Mom is calling me for lunch; I just couldn’t get my eyes off my book and drag my lazy ass to the dining hall. It’s War and Peace and the scene where Natasha kisses Boris on the lips indeed! I smile and suddenly I think of ajji as she described herself as a young girl of thirteen and how her cheeks would turn pink (or rather cherry red!) every winter! All those stories of times forgotten… of all the beauty that was then which is lost to vanity now. As she tells me of my panji (great-grandmother) and how she used to watch those ladies sit in the clinic with their veils covering their faces and with bangles up to their elbows! I could almost sense their apprehension and fears and imagine my panji and be humbled for I had her blood running through my veins.

she told me of how she saw girls run away with professors or nurses who fell for doctors only to get through exams and jobs easily! Did I just hear u gasp? Don’t worry it was not that long ago! There may be improvisations but women used their charms in the wrong places since the beginning of civilisation! She told me of how the princes lived in all their grandeur. the carriages drawing through beautiful gates, the splendid parties, the not so subtle signs of the decaying British raj. I could see everything like she did, and lose myself in that world of not so long ago. Many a times I would fall asleep in her lap with ajji chi shawl around my legs and a blissful smile!

From Benezair Bhutto and Pakistan to silly crushes and school girl dreams ; from the city of joy to princess diaries; from mom being Hitler to how she is my angel; from being so selfish to learning to give; from watching pretty woman to aartis and bhajjans; from gardening to dressing up. She let me make my own mistakes and patted me when i came back crying..hurt with wounds I believed even time couldnt heal.  This bond is both timeless and beautiful like the waves on sand. God couldnt be everywhere so he made mothers, and mothers couldnt be everywhere so he made grandmothers!

the bimbo lingo

20 Oct

“OH MY GOD….an alien!” “And another…” and you are squinting through the dust in disbelief….
She probably saw the skinny kids running around on your tour to India!

“What did you just say?” and you are trying hard to remember which part she was talking about…
She just heard you say something about the other bitch  in town and that’s what got her asking. Till then she was probably thinking about how she needs another manicure!

“Sweetie that guy is hot!” if you don’t know him already you don’t need to look twice because it will either be a filthy rich 60 yr old or his son!

“I am sorry but I don’t think this is working out….” and you are thinking after all these years what made her say that…
Don’t worry; she thinks she is doing the right thing. Someone just told her sleeping with another guy when in a relationship is cheating! (you actually expected her to figure that out herself?!)

There is more to it….but its more than you can take.
And besides you don’t need to know what she says. If you are a hot guy dating one as long as you aren’t broke you don’t need to make sense of anything she says! And if you are the pretty(at least after the tonnes makeup) blonde(natural or artificial!) you aren’t reading this!

They are all over the place. Love them hate them but please don’t blame them for being what they are…unlike other human beings the brains are not the largest part of their bodies!

An affair to remember….

10 Aug

“Ugh!! Mom I don’t wanna go there…..that place is a huge dustbin with worms(who think they’re people!)”……. and the oscar winning movie slumdog millionaire scared the shit out of me!…. “ummm…i think I will go…being away from home will be fun. I can live life without you breathing down my neck!” ‘confused’ that’s what I was when I realised I managed to get good enough grades to go to a med school in Mumbai …my mouth stayed open and my eyes teary for days after I checked my score online!! I’m gonna be a doc and not with my parents emptying their bank accounts for a private institution with their fees having never-ending zeros! Now I could invest those donation fees….read as I could shop guilt free! So like I was saying shocked, scared, dumbfounded n “effing” CONFUSED! Mom thought I would survive Bombay (till the day I met a drug dealer!) and when mothers say it….so be it! The crazy packing(dad adding endless medicines some of which I couldn’t even spell… going to a metro they have chemists! But doctors…keep them they’re general medication….if that’s what you call a plaster cast and sterile gauze!), the endless late night discussions, the never-ending ‘I didn’t ask for it’ advices, the rona-dhona (mom is a KJo fan!) my cortisol levels were skyrocketing! Mom being the cautious one convinced dad I travelled by train….what if the lightning stuck my plane?! As if!!

 So on a soggy Monday morning I got onto the train and let it drag me away from the only place I knew! Bombay for me was an occasional shopping spree, a place to meet long-lost relatives, a stop for the flight when on vacation. It was a monster with a belly full of thatched roofs, garbage (tonnes of it), swiggly creepy things(people)…it made mr roach look gorgeous!! For a facelift it needed al the botox in the world! Little did I know one day I would become a part of this mess and actually be proud of it! The train took me across the lovely vineyards in Nasik the dew settled on the window panes….i felt separated in the carriage away from the place I wanted to be in. will Bombay change who I am? Will I become like all the boring people around me stuck to their laptops or their Blackberry making business deals and cursing their cellphone network providers for weak signals?……naaah! never! I was happy listening to Yellow by Coldplay and watch the hill roll past!

When dadar station finally arrived I steeped out and whoa! The sticky air greeted me! The black and yellow taxis with the black and yellow taxiwalas! The hordes of people packed on the platform, the local train overflowing with people….so much I have to get used to! My first impression of the place was same as always…people, people everywhere!

The first few months I cried my nights and woke up staring at my hard-earned dark circles! Went back home after staying for a week….but mom kept sending me back in sometime to fight it out…..Cried over the phone, living as a pg I missed home more than I thought I would…blotched an teary and deadly depressed! My college didn’t help, scary cadavers lined our anatomy dissection halls, nightmarish corridors, the “oh so dedicated people” all around! Even death would be better…..

 That was exactly one year from now. I’m on my way home I passed my 1st yr exams a week back (miracles happen!) as I board the train I no longer feel like I am running away…. I have learnt to belong killing myself no longer on my list! A different bhavna goes back a smarter, wiser, mature bhavna…but with the heart of a small-town girl that I have preserved sans formalin! It beats within me and reminds me of who I am…. How I learned to love the place I detested? appreciate a world I once hated? Respect a city I thought flawed in every sense? I met people who given a chance to be on any place on the globe chose to stay in Mumbai. ..saw the grass greener on their side!…. showed me people going back everyday with a dead look, and return next morning looking transformed. Every day the sun rose and they welcomed it….their life as I looked at it sucked….but to them it’s a rosy day, life couldn’t be better….my worms suddenly took human form….they smiled, laughed, cried! I hit every mall and street with renewed energy…. cans of red bull preventing me from dropping and every one accompanying refusing to believe it was an anaemic girl racing about…to them I looked like a professional athlete running a marathon! I stuck it out through endless traffic jams and ended up paying the taxiwalas for staying in the same place for hours! Travelled by scary locals, gigantic best busses once in a while…and actually enjoyed ever minute! Met people I could understand and who could understand me! Ate the best vada pavs at roadside stalls and didn’t fall ill! Enjoyed the busy days and chilled out nights! Even managed to have fun dissecting bodies! Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder….how true… My affair with Mumbai is definitely an affair to remember!

Hello world!

10 Aug

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